"Kya tere ghar mein roz South Indian khana banta hai?!"

"Kya tere ghar mein roz South Indian khana banta hai?!"

There are just 2 odd things in the line above - the question mark and the exclamation mark :-)

There are multiple ways to respond to this:

- "Kya tere ghar mein roz North Indian banta hai?"

- "Tujhe kya lagta hai?"

- or a very indifferent "Haan"

The response may be anything - but the question definitely irks you, especially if you've been an ethnic Tamil, living in a Tamil household, proud of most things that are Tamil, all your life.

Just for the record:

• Strange as it might sound, South Indian cuisine is not something that South Indians have once in a while at a Udipi restaurant, just as the Chinese dont come to India and then go to Mainland China if they feel like having Chinese food.
• South Indian cuisine is not limited to Idli-Dosa-vada-sambhar. There is no single South Indian cuisine. However, as a genre, it is one of the most evolved and variegated cuisines to be found anywhere with its evolution and diversity arising out of household kitchen innovation over the years and not out of modern day chefs trying to build a menu. The one place I will strongly recommend for even understanding what is South Indian cuisine is Malgudi at Hyderabad.

Btw, here are a few other voluptuously appealing questions:

1. What do you speak at home - Hindi, English or South Indian ? ....Duh

2. Arre yaar, yeh mujhe Bangalore mein kisi se baat karna hai. Tu baat kar le...Tujhe woh zyada acchi tarike se samjha dega.? ....Wish people at least read something on the Cauvery dispute!!

Why only talk of incidents that have happened around me. The other day I saw Shahrukh Khan on TV asking Sreesanth if he spoke "Malayali".

Its not because I'm a tam that all this irks me. (to be honest, actually the incremental delta irk is caused because I'm a tam.) I hate it when people and educated people at that and on top that those who are educated Indian people do this. We are not talking of ignorance about some miniscule tribes on some far-off islands. We are talking of 4 different, yet very very old civilisations with a lot to cherish in History.

- We are talking of a culture that a 1000 years ago either militariliy or culturally conquered what is present day Malaysia*, present day Indonesia, present day Cambodia and present day Singapore.

- We are talking about a culture which 2 mileniums ago accorded what would probably have been present day's equivalent of MFN (Most Favoured Nation) status to the Roman empire.

- We are talking about another culture who's trans-himalayan technology transfer of martial know-how has resulted in all those kung-fu karate moves 2 milleniums later.

We are talking about yet another culture which built a city called as Hampi 500 years back, whose immense expanse will bring a modern day London to shame.

And most importantly I have only talked about the historical achievements. Let us not even get into the modern day - with per capita income, literacy levels, healthcare indexes, crime levels, degree of spirituality and their ilk.

Ok, before I'm made to look like a xenophobic chest thumping member of some forlorn South Indian version of the Ku Klux Klan, let me at once affirm that it is not my intention (in letter and in spirit) to portray any sense of cultural superiority. All I'm trying to portray is the immense level of insensitive blabering that I see around me.

By sensitivity I do not refer to any caricaturing. I can face caricaturing, with a sense of humour, a sense of equanimity or a sense of assertiveness depending upon the situation. By sensitivity I refer to the ignorance. The ignorance of not even knowing that there are four very different states with their own cultures, languages, cuisines, and their own very different ideas on how river waters should shared. It is not a land of 20 crore Madrasis!!

Now, lets add this to my list of what I'm not trying to say --> I'm not even trying to say that all this is happening to only to us poor South Indians.

I have spent around 10-12 years in Assam. It hurts me as much when people are surprised to know that Assam is not a hilly state. That the Assamese language is as much a derivative of Sanskrit, as say Punjabi or Gujarati is. It hurts me when I see that people can go gaga over the bravery of Shivaji / 1857 brigade / Prithviraj Chauhan, but not more than 1 in 100 people who are reading this blog would have ever heard of Lachit Borphukan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lachit_Borphukan just in case anyone cared - pls do read this account that I have been itching to term as the Ram-Lachit Manas)

Looks like I've spent reams trying to explain what I'm not trying to explain. Now let me expend a few more of this most expendable digital ream to explain what I'm trying to explain....Here goes :-)....

Ok, here is what hurts me. When I see India, I see a lot of regions. Each region sees a vibrant kaleidoscope in itself. However each region sees every other region as a solid chart paper of a single color...and that hurts me because as long as this happens the experiment called India will remain a disputed experiment, never to become an undisputed achievement.

If all this still doesn't make sense, hope the reader at least takes away the following -

This is India -->

This is not India -->

* Note: (Malaysia is a country and Malayalam is a language spoken some 4500 km away, in case anyone reading this was inquisitive)

Dhirendranath Datta

The following is courtesy wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dhirendranath_Datta). It is a speech which was made by a prominent Bangladeshi Nationalist in the Pakistan Constituent Assembly in Karachi. Apparently it was one of the first steps in the long march to freedom for Bangladesh...A brilliant exposition against language imposition.
_______________________________________________

Dhirendranath Datta's speech of 23rd February 1948 to the Pakistan Constituent Assembly in Karachi, presided over by Mohammad Ali Jinnah, was the first formal articulation of the demand for Bengali to be made one of the state languages of Pakistan. This culminated in the Language Movement of 1952 and the martyrdom of the Language Heroes. This movement is regarded by many as the first step towards the Liberation Movement leading to independence of Bangladesh in 1971. For this reason, Dhirendranath Datta's speech is regarded as one of the most important events in the history of East Pakistan and Bangladesh.
"Sir, in moving this— the motion that stands in my name--- I can assure the House that I do so not in a spirit of narrow Provincialism, but, Sir, in the spirit that this motion receives the fullest consideration at the hands of members.
I know, Sir, that Bengali is a provincial language, but, so far our state is concerned, it is the language of the majority of the people of the state. So although it is a provincial language, as a language of the majority of the people of the state it stands on a different footing. Out of six crores and ninety lakhs [69 million] of people of people inhabiting this State, 4 crores and 40 lakhs [44 million] of people speak the Bengali language. So, Sir, what should be the State language of the State of Pakistan? The State language of the State should be the language which is used by the majority of the people of the State, and for that, Sir, I consider that Bengali language is a lingua franca of our State.
It may be contended with a certain amount of force that even in our sister dominion the provincial language have not got the status of a lingua franca because in her sister dominion of India the proceedings of the Constituent Assembly is conducted in Hindustani, Hindi or Urdu or English. It is not conducted in the Bengali language but so far as the Bengali is concerned out of 30 cores of people inhabiting that sister dominion two and a half crores speak the Bengali language. Hindustani, Hindi or Urdu has been given an honoured place in the sister dominion because the majority of the people of the Indian Dominion speak that language. So we are to consider that in our state it is found that the majority of the people of the Indian Dominion speak that language. So we are to consider that in our State it is found that the majority of the people of the State do speak the Bengali language then Bengali should have an honoured place even in the Central Government.
I know, Sir, I voice the sentiments of the vast millions of our. In the meantime I want to let the House Know the feelings of the vastest millions of our State. Even, Sir, in the Eastern Pakistan where the people numbering four crores and forty lakhs [44 million] speak the Bengali language the common man even if he goes to a Post Office and wants to have a money order form finds that the money order is printed in Urdu language and is not printed in Bengali language or it is printed in English. A poor cultivator, who has got his son, Sir, as a student in the Dacca University and who wants to send money to him, goes to a village Post Office and he asks for a money order form, is printed in Urdu language. He can not send the money order but shall have to rush to a distant town and have this money order form translated for him and then the money order, Sir, that is necessary for his boy can be sent. The poor cultivator, Sir, sells a certain plot of land or a poor cultivator purchases a plot of land and goes to the Stamp vendor and pays him money but cannot say whether he has received the value of the money is Stamps. The value of the Stamp, Sir, is written not in Bengali but is written Urdu and English. But he can’t say, Sir, whether he has got the real value of the Stamp. These are the difficulties experienced by the common man of the State.
The language of the State should be such which can be understood by the common man of the State. The common man of the State numbering four crores and forty lakhs [[44 million] find that the proceedings of the Assembly which is their mother of parliaments is being conducted in a language, Sir which is unknown to them. Then, Sir, English has got an honoured place, Sir, in Rule 29. I know, Sir, English has got an honoured placed because of the International Character. But, Sir, if English can have an honoured place in Rule 29 that the proceedings of the Assembly should be conducted in Urdu or English why Bengalee, which is spoken by the four crores forty lakhs [[44 million] of people should not have an honoured place, Sir, in Rule 29 of the procedure Rules.
So, Sir, I know I am voicing the sentiments of the vast millions of our State and therefore Bengali should not be treated as a Provincial Language. It should be treated as the language of the State. And, therefore, Sir, I suggest that after the word ‘English, the words ‘Bengali’ be inserted in Rule 29. I do not wish to detain the House but I wish that the Members of the Constituent Assembly present here should give a consideration to the sentiments of the vast millions of our State, Sir, and should accept the amendment to Rule 29 that has been moved by me."

Ek ruka hua faisla

This is a post script to the blog titled Duh!!
Please check out this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/12_Angry_Men
It is clear from this article that Ek ruka hua faisla is a word to word copy of "12 Angry Men".

Duh!!!

Duh!!! - Its that smooth satisfying experience of being at the exalted pinnacle of pristine and unadulterated numbness.

You want to write something, but can't think of what to write about. Well here is something 4jow - "This is an extempore blog"...Let's see whether I have any skills in "blogoration".

Lets see how the day went....Had lunch at D'Pauls at Janpath....It used to be such a popular hangout during my student days - light on the pocket; heavy on the tummy.

It was during my first year in college that I was initiated to pleasures of milkshakes and snacks in the very Western sounding joints - Keventers and D'Pauls. I still remember the first time I went to Keventer's. I went in a college group....I didnt quite know what the place was - I was scared that it would be a very expensive (the name sounded so, at least) - But then I was suddenly in this hole in the wall round a corner in the Inner circle - the love story began. There is such a nice feel to the phrase, "sasta aur tikaau" :-)

Duh!! Here I am trying to write something, and what do I write about - Milkshakes in CP.

Duh!!! - Once again, its that smooth satisfying experience of being at the exalted pinnacle of pristine and unadulterated numbness.

Just looked at something that's running on TV - IPL - Mumbai Indians Vs Knightriders.

Kolkata's innings has just got over - well you can score a trailblazing series of advertisements, eat cricket balls on TV, but no matter how many times you sing "Korbo, Lorbo, Jeetbo re", you can't expect to win a schoolboys match if you only score 64 runs!!
_____________________________________________

Left the perch for almost a day without completing the blog. Its a brand new evening. Kolkata crashed to the worst defeat in what can only be called, for want of any other technically correct alternative, IPL history.

It may be a brand new day - but the mental frame is still pretty much the same - Duh!!

The day went past well though - watched yet another movie, that I've wanted to watch for a long while - "Ek ruka hua faisla" ("ERHF hereafter). Sree-B, my colleague had strongly recommended this movie to me a couple of years back. Even though, I generally respect Sree-B's views on most things in life, I never managed to watch this movie.

Wikipedia once again tells me that even this movie is a remake of a hollywood movie - "12 angry men". What is the problem with wiki? It looks like they are running a low key smear campaign against all our poor desi unimaginatively unoriginal story-writers. I mean how does a bit of inspiration hurt anyone?? I mean, shouldn't Hollywood support their shortcomings in original, albeit unwittingly and unknowingly. I mean, what if the inspired story-writer ignores certain minor technicalities like the impossibility of a jury trial (that too for a murder case) in Indian jurisprudence. But then you can always borrow a great plot, and then our chaps with so much of style quotient over content quotient can always "adapt" any movie on Earth to what they think is the Indian situation.

Ok, this is where I'll stop my rant against ERHF, and start the raving.

Oh man!! The characters were so well developed. It sounded like a perfect jury - seemingly responsible citizens from all walks of life, coming with their own baggages of past, emotions and attititudes. It almost looked a motley gathering of 12 individuals engaged in an animated conversation in a train ka dabba.

You could see in action many of the conflicts that is seen in day-to-day life:

• Fact based discourses versus the impatience of the gut feelers
• People who talk the specifics versus people who generalise
• Objectivity versus Subjectivity
• People who are intrinsically inspired versus people who follow others
• Assertiveness versus timidity versus aggression
• People who hide their abilities on account of lack of confidence versus people who expose their shortcomings on account of ignorance of self, ill-camouflaged as confidence
• People who paint a given community in any color versus those who are loath to do so.
• Passion versus dispassion
• Rule-followers versus rule-breakers
• Maturity versus immaturity
• Even "True mumbaikars" versus "'Son of the soil mumbaikars"

The above certainly is not an exhaustive collection, but is hopefully a compelling extract to get the reader to watch this movie.

Even though the movie ends in ambiguity, the moral at the end is there for those who care to look for it. 4Jow, it can be put down as:

"Life, the greatest source of ambiguities, throws up situations where there are no rights and there are no wrongs. The objective in such cases has to be true satisfaction at the end of the situation. This satisfaction can only be achieved with the information that you have performed your calling sincerely. That you have clearly understood your role and you have rigorously executed the same"

Its good that I have started documenting my thoughts (which becomes a sureshot & foolproof way of getting to think those thoughts in the first place!!). Otherwise ERHF to me would have largely been "Duh!!"

Now that this post ends here -

Duh!!! - Once again, its that smooth satisfying experience of being at the exalted pinnacle of pristine and unadulterated numbness.

IPL and related...

In the glitzy world of IPL
where speed rules and cricket roars,
nothing is lull and nothing is dull
as there are just sixes and fours...

Well now that I've got rhyming words in alternate lines after struggling for 5 minutes, I've got my ode for IPL-T20.

My fav teams - Superkings, Kings XI, and Mumbai Indians in that order. Would ideally like to see all of them in the semis.

But I was also just wondering - is criket evolving? I mean we :
first had colored clothing;
then we had night lights;
bowlers were then restricted from delivering bouncers;
fielders for half the game were restricted to places where the ball anyways never goes to;
then a free hit after a no-ball;
now we have 3 hour matches;
and finally city based franchises

But the mission is still only partially accomplished. Now, the main things left in the evolution are:

• Looking at the crowd's thirst for boundaries, rule the batsman out if he gets 3 continuous dot balls;
• But to help keep batsmen's livelihood alive, disallow bowlers to bowl anything other than full-tosses;
• Allow bowlers to chuck as bowlers are bound to protest the rule above;
• Stop the growing clout of batsmen by putting 4 batsmen on the ground as they are the ones who seem to believe most that they are bringing the crowds (after all economics 101 says higher supply always reduces price);
• 4 batsmen cant run up and down, so make the pitch look like a funny looking square, and get them to go round and round the bowler;

At this point the dream will finally come true -

Cricket will be base; ball will be sore
Cricket will be base; ball will be sore
Cricket will be base; ball will be sore
Cricket will be base; ball will be sore

Realty, Reality and More

(This was to come out on Sunday - but how does a few days of delay affect in the land of Indian Stretchable Time )

Just read something on the newspaper - George Bush blames increasing demand in India and China for food price rise. The man does have a sense of humour, well....even if it is black humour.
But link or no link to food price...consumption is certainly on a rise in India. I went to Select CityWalk mall in Delhi today. It certainly does not look like it is a part of "Poor India - Hungry India" at all. I mean, I remember this status message of a friend of mine which went something like this - The trouble with modern-day shopping is it is so repititive. You see one....you see a mall!!". But then Select CityWalk is nowhere close to your average standard upcoming mall with the 2 sets of elevators and 2 sets of escalators.

What sets this place apart is its range of international stores (read - ultra expensive) lining the mall corridors. Everything from the benches to the parking lot to even the loos look quite high-end. This place is certainly the "mallification" of our nice and sweet snobby snobby la-dee-daa Khan Market.

I still remember my trip to UK as a 13 year old. I was amazed to see the kind of "shops" they had even in a small town like Bradford. Shops that had their own escalators! I mean I could understand the "shopping complex" having an escalator, but a "shop" having its own escalator - wow!!!...and today you have people going up and down such escalators within so many "shops" in India. But then, with India being "Frugal India", many such escalators have two guards on either side ensuring that the escalator only people approach it!!!

Seriously India is seeing some serious freedom of choice.

Well speaking of freedom, I also saw a good movie yesterday - Shaurya. So what if the concept is borrowed from "A few good men"....the plot, the characterization etc are all entirely original (even this line doesn't seem to be original anymore). I will refuse to accept Shaurya's script as an original. But as a worthy adaptation of the original movie, I will get up, stand up and then give this movie a thumbs up. There is this bright young NDA-IMA passout - Capt. Javed Khan who is accused of murdering his senior officer. The Capt. refuses to utter anything. Therefore this is an "open and shut case"....this phrase is emphatically repeated enough no. of times to make it sound irritating. Enter our Mr. Army Lawyer - Maj. Siddhant Chaudhary - (Rahul Bose). Wait...did I say "enter" - no...actually the movie begins with Maj. Siddhant Chaudhary's good friend Akash Bose's (Javed Jaffrey) marriage being fixed. The first half is also about Maj. Chaudhary imitating Hrithik Roshan's act in Lakshya - a man full of his idle-ness really not caring much about anything else. However unlike Lakshya, Rahul Bose's transformation is much more rapid and much less realistic. But once he is transformed into a conscientious lawyer - does he act or what. This chap has certainly improved in leaps and bounds when it comes to his Hindi dialogue delivery. Anyone who had watched Thakshak when it was released a few years back, and has watched Shaurya now, will attest to this.

Despite a lot of splendid performances, a certain Mr. Kaykay Menon takes the cake for his role as an almost lunatically dogmatic Brig. Rudra Pratap Singh (wow!! they actually borrowed a cricketer's entire name for this!!). Brig Singh acts as the proverbial "soldier's soldier" with belief and rhetoric which state that it is people like him who let people like us have our breath of fresh free air in the morning. His rant against the alleged perpetrators of killing of his near and dear ones when confronted with his sad past, hopefully should go down as one of the great moments of the rahul bose variety of cinema (there is hardly a distinct "parallel" / "art" cinema movement anymore, is there??!!)

All in all Shaurya is a great movie, and not just for its little touch of "moral of the story" at the end - "Right is the only thing that is ultimately right...nothing else is".